The Only Thing I Make Right Now

I am not really cooking right now for some reason. Seriously. No interest whatsoever in the whole process. Nevermind, that I am uninterested in doing dishes and pots and pans, too. We digress on that point.

My current diet involves rotisserie chickens from Kroger, bagged lettuce, yogurt, milk, bread and diet Pepsi. Maybe some apples. With copious amounts of coffee thrown in for good measure. I do not count making peanut butter toast as cooking. Nor is melting cheese on toast over thinly sliced fresh summer tomatoes from either my dad's garden or my friend Meg's father's garden. Nor at this point in my life is making Taco Soup in the crockpot. Opening cans of beans, corn and tomatoes, throwing in a package of Morningstar Farms sausage-style crumbles and a packet of low-sodium taco seasoning and stirring it together before flipping the knob to "low" is NOT cooking.

The only thing I am currently making that qualifies as honest-to-gawd cookin' is Gordon Ramsay's recipe for chocolate pots. For this, I will buy Ghiradelli bittersweet chocolate morsels and invest the time in separating eggs and beating the whites to stiff peaks by hand. I will stir the egg yolks into the melted chocolate and carefully add some flavoring, so that the chocolate doesn't seize on me. I'll fold the egg whites into the the chocolate and, lacking the white custard ramekins presented in the book, take the time to portion it into 6 pressed glass tumblers from my paternal grandparents. That's cooking. The result is a light, mousse-like dessert that has a sinfully rich chocolate taste. Orgasmically chocolate taste. The book calls for orange liqueur, but I've used coffee, bourbon or Amaretto with good results. Might try some of that Torani sugar-free raspberry syrup next time. And there WILL be a next time.

Here is the recipe, adapted for my kitchen. Which I have committed to memory.

7 oz. good quality bittersweet chocolate (at least 60% cocoa solids)
6 large eggs, at room temperature
flavoring of your choice. about 2 oz. if using a liqueur or bourbon.

Melt the chocolate in a microwave safe bowl. If using chocolate chips, start at one minute at 50% power. Stir. Melt in 30 second increments at 50% power until the chocolate is smooth when stirred. Allow to cool to room temperature.

Separate the eggs. Beat the whites in a large greaseproof bowl to stiff peaks, either by hand or with an electric mixer on high. Do not use a plastic bowl, as you cannot get the grease completely out of one. I don't care what you use to clean it between uses. Do not argue with me about this. Use glass or copper or a large enameled metal mixing bowl, like I do.

Break the egg yolks and beat them very slightly. Fold them into the melted chocolate. Do this before attempting to add any other ingredients. Attempting to stir in the flavoring before the egg yolks will cause the chocolate to seize on you. I know this. I tried it. Still tasty results, but a bit clumpier than you'll probably like. Trust me on this one. Gently fold the egg whites into the chocolate. Be careful not to completely deflate the egg whites you worked so hard to beat all that air into. Mixture will be a bit runny, but don't worry about that. Portion into six ramekins or other serving dishes. Cover them with plastic wrap and put them in the refrigerator to set for at least an hour or two. Garnish as desired, and savor.

The usual food police cautions about consuming raw eggs apply. If you're scared of eating a raw egg, then either find pasturized ones or don't make this. If you do make it, don't feed it to your child, your grandma and grandpa or your friends with compromised immune systems without fair warning that THIS CONTAINS RAW EGGS. And no pissing and moaning about how sick you got if you make it and you do get the one in a billion eggs that contains enough salmonella to make you sick.